Monthly Archives: October 2014

A World I Don’t Belong

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Return to this soul
The feeling that once was
The sorrow, the joy
The pain that was my toy.
Something, anything.
Because I’ve been numb for far too long,
Living in a world that I don’t belong.

This is an old one back in a time when I had no direction, when I tried to rely on my own strength and do things alone. I am no longer alone, thankfully, I have Christ. At one point or another we all find that being alone whether by choice or not, is something that we can’t do for long. If its people who’ve abandoned us along the way or by choice that we’ve chosen solitude, Jesus will never abandon and will always be waiting for us to simply ask him for help.

In Just A Breath Of Forever

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I listen to the words you say
And I’m the one foolish enough to think
That there is hope enough
To understand them all.
Everything I think to be is falling apart again
Why must you lift this veil of complacency
Away from me?
Its hard to see already
Without this reality
Getting in the way.
I don’t want to learn
And you cant make me
I just want to wallow in self pity
For just a little longer
Why must you shackle me
To all of this responsibility right now?
I don’t want to wake up, I know I have to.
Sleeping is the easiest
Why can’t we just let the world
Flow fast and pass by me
So I won’t have a care here
I know,
I won’t really let it all pass me by
I’ll wake up to this reality
And take my responsibility
I’ll seize the day and throttle it!
Yesterday was the last day
In just a breath of forever,
That will ever escape me again.

All That Is Certain

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What will today bring?
I know not, let us sing,
Of nights before when we survived,
When it was death that we had bribed.
The only thing I know for certain,
Is that the reaper will pull the curtain.
Death will reclaim his prize,
Though I do not believe his lies.
All powerful he is not.
His leash is held by one who’s got,
The keys to my heavenly home
And the deed to my soul.
I do not know what tomorrow will bring but death.
So I’ll live for today, making precious what is left.

Over the course of my life I’ve had a few near-death experiences. The most notable of which was in august 2008 . My job had taken me to Kalispell, MT for some overnight work for seven days, when on the last day after getting off of work at 7A.M. I decided that I would hit the road right away and try to make it home as quickly as possible, I lived in Missoula at the time. As I was driving, about twenty minutes south, I started dozing when I looked down to check my ipod and when I looked up I had drifted into the opposite lane and there was one of those flat-faced semi trucks headed straight for me.This happened around a blind corner so neither the truck driver or myself could see the other coming.  I had just enough time to swerve enough to make it not be a head-on collision, the semi hit my car just three inches behind the driver side door.
Three inches.
I was literally three inches away from death that day. Thankfully so, God decided it was not my time to die and spared me.
I was knocked unconscious by the air bags and when I woke up there was my friend Brent, who was working on the same job and was driving behind me, called the ambulance, and some cars whose drivers had stopped to see if I was all right. I stood up and walked away from the wreckage. No broken bones. No serious injuries. After an ambulance took me to a hospital in Kalispell for an overnight stay, I was sent home with bruised ribs, and a bruised lung, that’s all. It could have been so much worse and I should have died, but I was spared thank God.
This poem is about how we all die some day, we are given a finite number of days, and we should make the most of those days. Each one. Tomorrow you could die of a heart attack, or get into a car wreck you don’t walk out of. We all die, It’s going to happen. What we should be worrying about isn’t where, when, or how it will happen, but are we making the most of the time given to us? Are we living everyday with eternity in mind?
“And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?” Matthew 6:27

As The City Sleeps

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I lie awake
While the city sleeps.
Here I lay,
Searching for the sleep that will not come.
After one night’s unsuccessful hunt,
I rise,
To face the dawn,
Before the city awakes.

Her Eyes

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Hers eyes, beautiful and strong like stones of jade.
She has iron in her gaze.
Though tears have turned that iron to rust,
It is just as strong, and not turned to dust.
Her eyes guard well what lies in her soul.
It is partly my heart that has found its home,
And partly it is hers, that I wish to call my own.
When I cannot say, but only then will mine be whole.

Written shortly after we became engaged, another one dedicated to my wife 🙂

To Eternity

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Once again, the story to me is told.
I sit, I listen, I patiently wait.
Kittens and puppies, natures green and gold.
I pay attention, but the hour’s late.
Slipping off into my own peaceful dreams,
Dreaming of all youth, mortality, and
Of her youngest, her golden, and her green.
Of how life is so fleeting from fates hand.
So many hold what doesn’t matter now.
Beauty is fleeting, wealth will fade to dust.
Still listening to what nature says now.
Who made her? He says all things become rust.
This life is but youth for eternity.
Time. We’ve plenty to spend accordingly.

One Morning In December

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A falling of snow,
The morning sun did show.
The mountainside shined.
As did every white pine.
A mockingbird sang,
His morning song rang,
In, through, around the trees.
I savor mornings such as these,
When the morning sun illuminates such beauty,
That I can hardly believe,
Everything my eyes did see.